What if
by abeecd
Summary: There were telling moments between James and Alesha before he left. What if something came out of it?
1. Chapter 1

_Just having fun. Old story picked-up from where I left it. English is not my first language, so do not hesitate to point my mistakes!_

Chapter 1

It had been almost a month since James had resigned. Things were hectic at the office, with the arrival of a new Senior Crown Prosecutor. Alesha had been swamped, trying to get her research done, helping her new boss get to know the office, and... trying not to think about how much she missed James. Jacob, the new Senior, was ok. He seemed like a nice enough bloke, good values and all, but she did now know him well yet and she missed the easy relationship she had with James.

Truth be told, Alesha missed seeing him everyday. They had talked on the phone once of twice, but they were both busy and Alesha had felt that James wanted to give her some time to adapt to her new boss before meeting. She knew they would see each other at some point. They were friends and London's legal community, large as it is, was still a very small world. But she was eager to see him again, though not confident enough to initiate contact. She was afraid they would do as so many former colleagues do: promise to keep in touch, saying nothing will change, and then slowly grow apart to the point where they became quasi-strangers.

That is why she was more than happy to accept the invitation to a small celebratory party at the local pub to mark George's 58th anniversary. Janet, George's wife, had remarked that James would be there. Alesha was giddy just thinking about it. Which was ridiculous, seeing as they had shared an office for close to four years. But they had had a moment, she and James, after his last day. She was sure of it... Or was she? There had been quite a few occasions over the last years when Alesha had felt that James saw her as more than a colleague. But then it had passed, they had gotten involved in a new case, and there had been no time to think about it.

Still, she saw him as more than a colleague. A good friend, certainly. A mentor, definitely. The subject of many day dreams, unfortunately. She knew the age difference and office hierarchy meant something to James. But he wasn't her boss anymore, so one obstacle was lifted. Who was she kidding? Still, she was a bit nervous when she left the office for the bar that night.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

He had not yet arrived when she entered the bar and joined the party. George, his wife, a few colleagues with whom George had kept in touch with since university in Edinburgh, and the usual gang: Angela, Nathalie, Ronnie, and Matt. How many times had they settled here around a beer? Not once during the last month, though. Alesha was not comfortable enough to invite Jacob along yet, but she did not want him to feel left out if she went with the others. So she abstained. She hoped that one of these days, the boys would invite him along, and the ice would be broken.

Alesha was sitting on the bench along the wall, beside Angela. On her right, an empty table. She was laughing at something Ronnie said when she looked up and saw him enter the pub. The same and yet a bit different. Still so clean shaven and preppy in his long black trench coat, his blue muffler around his neck. But she could see that he was wearing a jumper and trousers instead of a suit underneath. A slightly more casual James, then. One who taught law at university and had just accepted a consulting position for a large human rights organisation.

He came over to their table and greeted everyone, starting with George and Janet, who were seated at the other end of the table. He nodded at George's friends, shook hands with Ronnie and Matty, blew a kiss to Angela and Nathalie as they were out of reach, and finally settled beside Alesha on the bench. Looking sideways at her, not quite smiling but his blue eyes crinkling at the corners. God, she had missed him so. She hid her hands under the table, as they were a bit clammy now. Her heart rate had accelerated steadily as he made his way along the table. She felt so stupid, sitting there, a huge smile threatening and heat climbing up her cheeks. Let's hope he had not noticed.

"Hey."

"Hey to you too."

"Missed me much?"

"Are you kidding? I am finally catching up on work. For the first time in years!"

Alesha made a smiling moue as she said it, letting him know she was joking. But James had always been able to read her and enjoyed their banter. He bent his head a little towards her, pressed his hand on her forearm, as he had done so many times before when wanting to let her she had done good in court.

"I am glad to see you. I think the most difficult thing at university is not hearing you bitching about the Tube when I come in".

They smiled at each other, the old familiarity coming back just like that. It was but a moment, as conversations resumed and their attention was needed. Over the next three hours, as drinks were replenished, snacks ordered and places exchanged in order to better share a story, James stayed by her side. She could feel him there. Literally, of course, as the next table was now occupied and everyone had to squish in a bit closer. When he leaned on the table to talk to Angela, she could feel his leg brushing against hers. She also "felt" him. A kind of humming inside her. Nothing precisely sexual, as she sometimes felt it at the hairdresser while getting her hair done, or at the spa while getting a massage. But sensual and pleasant nonetheless, if a bit unnerving. She was very aware of him, and for some reason, she thought he was also aware of her.

At 9, one of George's friends stood up and announced he had to go. His solicitor wife was working late and he had promised to meet her after his drinks. Alesha was tired. She wanted to keep on sitting there beside James but, to be honest, she wanted him all to herself. To tell him about the new situation at work. To hear about his new life. She would send him an e-mail at the beginning of the week, suggesting lunch. Being very casual. Now that they had seen each other again, things could go back to normal.

When James went to the bathroom, Alesha announced she would be leaving too. She was knackered and should go before nodding off. Everyone teased her, telling her that as the youngest, she was a disgrace to her generation. When James came back, she was standing, going around the table and making her salutations. She turned as he arrived.

"I was waiting for you to come back before taking my leave. It was really great to see you again. We should have lunch soon, James. And you'll tell me all about your new jobs, without Ronnie and Mattie crowding the floor", she told him, smiling.

"I should really be going too. Ethan is coming in the morning. Wait for me and I'll give you a lift home".

"You don't have to do that, really. I'll just take a cab."

James touched her arm again. "Alesha, it will be my pleasure. Just wait until I say goodbye to everyone".

As he turned to get his coat and do the rounds as she had a few minutes earlier, she stood there. Smiling slightly at everyone who glanced her way. And then he was by her side.

"Let's go then. Let's take you home."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

They stepped outside, James holding the door for Alesha. He put his hand on the small of her back and directed her to the right.

"This way. I am parked a few streets over."

They walk side by side in silence. Alesha held her face to the night sky, wanting to feel the light breeze on her skin. She briefly closed her eyes. She loved these nights, when you can almost smell winter in the cool air.

"Reveling in London's delicate perfume, are you?", asked James, smiling as he glanced at her.

Alesha opened her eyes and chuckled. "Yes... I love these nights. The breeze feels like silk."

James glanced at her again. He loved that about Alesha. This spontaneous, almost childish delight she could feel for some things, while being sarcastic and very blunt most of the time. He missed her and walking like that side by side felt very familiar. He was happy he had come and that the occasion to spend some time alone with her had arisen. He was not sure if it was a good idea, but he couldn't resist.

She did not seem to mind getting a ride home with him. Since his last night at the office, he has been feeling ambivalent. He wished he could go back a month ago and replay how he had said goodbye to Alesha. He had almost kissed her. In fact, only George's call had prevented him from doing so. He was sorry about the call, but relieved at the same time. He really wasn't sure of Alesha's feeling for him.

Oh, he knew she liked him. She even flirted with him sometimes, but nothing serious. To be honest, he had seen her do it with George and Ronnie as well, and he was quite confident there was nothing going on there! He had seen her do it with Matt, also. Which was different. He knew Matt really liked Alesha and would go out with her in a second. He even thought they had a few dates, after Matt had helped her go through her rape trauma. Nothing seemed to have come of it, but Matt was Alesha's age and a definite catch, according to most females around the precinct and the court. Tonight, they had seemed very casual, though. Just friends.

Oh! Well, he was about to give her a lift and would definitely take up her offer to have lunch soon. Maybe now that they were no longer working together, they could become real friends... and maybe more.

James stopped by a black Toyota Prius. Alesha stopped beside him, surprised.

"You forgot where you parked your car?"

"When I left the office, I thought I should make a clean break. Make a few other changes, you know?"

"Are you sure you were not afraid your new students would deem the BMW too bourgeois?", Alesha teased.

"In fact, they have not seen this car either. I ride my bike to university."

Alesha looked at him, narrowing her eyes and laughing. "The great James Steel, pedaling away! I must see this!"

"You know I like cycling, Alesha." James protested mildly, unlocking the car.

"Actually, no" said Alesha. " I did not. What other sporty talents have you been hiding? I know you suck at skating"

James laughed, remembering the time, last year, when Alesha had accompanied Nathan and him on a skating outing. "Well, I do rock climbing in a gym and I bought a kayak last summer. I really like it."

Alesha settled in the passenger seat. She kept quiet, realising that even though they had seen each other almost daily for over four years, there were tons of things she did not know about James. He tended to keep quiet about his private life, preferring to listen to her as she rattled along about pretty much everything that came through her mind. That made her think that there were even less chances that James could be interested in her. He was probably seeing some slim, graceful professional woman who jogged every morning.

For the rest of the ride, they did not talk much. It was not an uncomfortable silence. About 5 minutes away from Alesha's home, James turned to her while waiting at a traffic light.

"Tired?"

"Actually, the fresh air did me good. I feel... jittery. You know? Like when you leave a party wishing you could beam yourself up to bed, but once you get home, you could start spring cleaning?"

"Beam yourself up?" James asked.

"You know... Beam me up, Scotty.", Alesha said matter of factly.

James started laughing... and did not stop. Soon, Alesha joined in. By the time they were parked outside her flat, both their eyes were watering. James stopped the car, undid his seat belt and turned toward Alesha. He was still smiling, but Alesha saw his eyes getting more serious, more pensive.

"God, I miss you, Alesha!"

Alesha squirmed a bit and looked to her lap, pleased but embarassed.

"It was not that good of a joke, you know. In fact, it wasn't a joke, just a way of expressing..." She mumbled.

"I know", said James. "That's what I missed...what I miss".

Alesha glanced up. James was looking at her, somewhat tenderly. She liked him so much. She took a breath and prepared to say thanks and goodnight, changing idea at the last minute.

"Want to come up for a nightcap?"

James nodded, still looking at her. "Yes."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Alesha's heart rate started racing again. As she climbed the stairs to her third floor flat, she could feel James right behind her. They did not talk.

"Wow!", thought Alesha, "This really feels like a date now. No. I am probably making up stories again. We've had plenty of drinks together in the past. But never at my or his place... What will we talk about?"

Alesha unlocked the door and entered. She hung her coat on the rack by the door and turned to James. She smiled, a normal smile.

"Come on, get you coat off. What would you like to drink? I have scotch somewhere, beer or wine..." She walked to the tiny laboratory kitchen on the left while talking.

"What are you having?" James asked, following her. She was peering in the frige as he came into the kitchen.

"Wine."

"Wine it is, then."

"Red ok?"

"Off course", said James as she closed the fridge and headed to a small Ikea rack on the counter. She looked at the few bottles and picked one. She fished a bottle opener from the cutlery drawer and set to uncork the bottle.

"It will have to be room temperature, I am afraid. I did not expect anyone tonight."

"Let me do that", said James.

Alesha handed him the bottle and went to the living room, where she kept the wine glasses in a cabinet.

"Bring the bottle here!"

James followed her. As he did, he held the bottle up to look at the label. He recognized it. One of his favourites. Turning the bottle over and peering closer, he could see his name written in pencil on the back label.

Alesha had set two glasses on the low living room table. She sat on the sofa and looked up as James stopped beside her. He held the bottle up again so that she could see the back label, eyebrow raised.

"You gave it to me. Remember? After the McGetty case."

James sat and started pouring. "And?"

"Every time I receive a bottle as a gift, I write the name of the person who gave it to me. When they come for dinner, I open that bottle."

"You mean that if I had given you a bottle from Tesco, that's what we would be drinking?", James asked, handing her a glass.

"But you would never give me a bottle from Tesco!" She took a sip. "Hmmm. That is good... It was my first boss at court who did that. I thought it was a good idea. Usually people give you stuff they like, and when it's given as a gift outside a dinner party, it means they do not have a chance to share it with you. So it makes sense to drink it with them at a later time."

James was seated beside her on the sofa. Angled towards her, one arm draped against the back of the sofa. "I can see your point. But it must fail, sometimes, no?"

"Well, I've learned to use Angela's gift when I cook boeuf bourguignon" She laughed. "Honestly. When I first started having people over and had to open a bottle, I knew nothing about wine. It was a good way to put the responsibility on the other person's shoulder. We did not exactly drink wine at home, you know?"

James looked at her. Difficult to thinks that this beautiful, poised woman grew up in an estate known primarily for prostitution and drug dealing.

"Again, Alesha. I missed you," said James, laughing.

"So, James. Do these radical changes you were talking about involve a new home as well?"

"Well... I am thinking about it. When Alison left, I thought it would be easier for Ethan if I kept the house in Hampstead. His friends are around. And to be honest, it just seemed less of a hassle. But now, I don't know. I would like to be a bit closer to the city. And I do not really need a backyard."

"Already feeling that the bike commute from Hampstead to Queen Mary is too much for your old legs?", Alesha teased.

"That's it. You found me out", said James.

"Where are you looking?", asked Alesha, thinking how fit he was and how many of her much younger guy friends did not have half of James' physical vitality. He was not one of those muscle gym type, but lean and graceful. She was not surprised he cycled.

"I am looking at Shoreditch, Whitechapel... you know?"

"That's exciting! And that's not very far from here. I think you'd like it". Alesha lived in a three story apartment house fronting a park in Bethnal Green.

"Leaving the office was really difficult. But I think I made the right decision. I find that I really like teaching and while the consulting work has not really begun yet, it looks promising. After court, it almost feels like a vacation." James grinned a bit sheepishly. A known workaholic, it was difficult to imagine him taking it easy.

"And you?", James asked.

Alesha was resting her head on the back of the sofa. Her eyes were closed. "Well... It is difficult to tell yet. Jacob seems like a nice guy, a good prosecutor and all. But I miss the... closeness, you see? The camaraderie." She opened her eyes to look at James.

They had both had two glasses of wine so far. Not enough to be tipsy, but Alesha felt mellow. She was very at ease, sitting here with James. And he seemed to be having a good time.

"Well, it is a good thing you came up, you know James? It gave me a chance to open that bottle. It's been sitting there for an awful long time."

"But it is the first time you invite me over, Lesh."

Alesha looked at James, ruefully. "I know. And you had us over tons of times! But my place is so small, it seems crazy to invite everyone at once. And you were my boss,so..."

"But I am not anymore, so I am now allowed up?" asked James gently.

Alesha shook her head lightly, feeling her cheeks warming up. "Well..."

"Alesha. I am joking. I do not want to make you feel uncomfortable. In fact, I should apologize for the last time we saw each other. "

Alesha looked at James, puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"We are good friends and that's important to me. I did not want to make you feel bad letting my feelings show like that. It was an emotional day."

James seemed embarrassed. He was looking at his glass of wine.

Alesha was not quite certain what he was saying. Usually she would have laughed, changed the subjects and worried about what he meant once alone in her bed. But she had drunken a few bears at the pub and now two glasses of wine, and she had been analysing that moment, THE moment, for the last month.

"Were you about to kiss me when George called?"

James glanced up at her, smirking ruefully. " I am afraid I was..."

Alesha placed her glass on the table and turned to James, getting a bit closer. "I don't think George will be calling now"

James looked a bit startled, but pleasantly so. He laughed quietly as he placed his glass very carefully on the table. Alesha waited nervously, afraid he was about to says goodnight, that he had made a mistake that other night. He turned towards her and leaned in. He touched her face gently with his right hand as he bent his head.

"Let's hope he doesn't."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Alesha slowly came awake. She was wrapped in the duvet, surrounded by pillows, so warm and cosy. She loved Saturday mornings. Well, it was not quite morning yet. All was still dark outside. Some noise on the street must have woken her... And then she felt a leg move above hers.

God! James... It all came back to her. They had had a few glasses of wine. It had felt so nice sitting there on the sofa with James. And so she had forced herself upon him. Well, not forced herself exactly, but she had definitely initiated the first kiss, and the making out, and the move to the bedroom... James had not protested, but he had been following her lead. It felt great yesterday. Tender and exciting at the same time. She had felt elated, on top of the world, as she finally made love to James. He had been as she had imagined, and more. But now reality was back with a vengeance. Alesha felt panic creeping up. What would he say? Would he regret it? Would it be awkward? Of course it would! What had she been thinking?

He was curled up against her, smelling of sleep and Jo Malone's Amber and Lavender. Alesha inhaled deeply. She loved smells and she had immediately recognized his sent when she first met him four years ago. As the years passed and she grew more and more enamoured, she had seized every pretext to feel close to him. Including adopting Jo Malone's Vetyver has her signature scent. Childish gesture... There was nothing childish about what had felt last night, and was now feeling. Two very different but powerful emotions. Bliss, and then fear of what was to be... He stirred gently behind her. Alesha forced herself still, trying to gain some precious moments before the uncomfortable morning-after routine began.

James was sleeping. He felt warm and cosy, curled against a soft body. He inhaled slowly as he came to. A distinct smell: elegant, spicy and a bit sweet. Alesha's. He could not name the fragrance but he had come to recognize it as hers. Alesha... So last night had really happened. Her invitation to come up for a drink. The kiss she had initiated. The kisses that had followed and the slow progression to her bedroom. He still could not believe it. It had felt so good, exciting and comfortable at the same time. As if it was a natural conclusion to their friendship. But she had been somewhat tipsy. What if it had been the wine fuelling Alesha's amorous mood? God, he hoped not. What to do now? Would she feel awkward to find him in her bed this morning? Ethan! He was due in Hampstead at 9:30. That solved the question... but if he tiptoed out, would she imagine he was treating her like a one-night adventure? If he woke her up to let her know he was going, would it seem...? Shit! He felt like he was 16 again.

James turned his head to look at the alarm clock. 6:55. He should really be going. He turned back to Alesha, cuddled again for a few moments while she was still asleep and unaware of his predicament. He finally pressed a soft kiss on her shoulder and started to ease up slowly, so not to wake her.

Alesha had felt James waking up behind her. He had cuddled more closely at first and then seemed to realise where he was. He had gotten very still. Was he already regretting it? After a few endless minutes, he had relaxed. She almost thought he was going off to sleep again. And then he sighed gently and pressed a kiss to her shoulder, lingering for a few seconds before starting to get up. These few seconds were a good sign, surely? What should she do? Pretend to be asleep while he tiptoed away or face the music?

She opened her eyes slowly. James had his back to her. He had his slacks on and was looking outside the window as he buttoned his shirt. She looked at him, loving the slim built of his back, the way he kept himself erect, the effortless grace... She was in love, and last night had just added to her infatuation.

James turned his head, as if he could feel her eyes on his back. He smiled at her, ruefully.

"I have to go. Ethan will be home soon."

Alesha looked sleepily at him, still snuggled in the duvet. "Off course..."

"Alesha... Do you regret...? Should I apologize again?"

Alesha could hear the uncertainty in his voice. He was concerned about her reaction.

She looked at him, trying to gage his emotions. She took the plunge. "No. I don't regret last night. Do you?"

James shook his head, smiling. He knelt beside the bed, caressed he cheek with his hand and bent to kiss her. Alesha closed her eyes, feeling his lips on her own, relieved. She could not help her lips widening in a smile. James lifted his head, looking at her questioningly? Alesha blushed.

"Nothing... Go. You do not want to have Ethan waiting on your doorstep when you get home."

James got up, still looking at her. "He's leaving tomorrow around 6. Care for a late supper at my place?"

Alesha tried to pretend she was not beaming, failing. "Yes. I'll see you around 7:30."

James bent his head and smiled as he grabbed his jumper on the floor. "It's a date, then."

He turned to go, glancing back at her when he got to the bedroom door. "You're beautiful in the morning, Lesh... See you tomorrow."

Alesha watched him get out of the room, she could hear him take his coat from the rack, and then the door closed. She turned on her back, looking at the ceiling, smiling. She drew her hair from her face with both hands. "Yes... Yes, Yes!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

After James left, Alesha could not go back to sleep. The adrenaline kept her awake and jittery, incapable of concentrating on something as simple as reading Saturday's Guardian. She flittered around the flat, trying not to overanalyse what had happened with James, failing miserably. She finally grabbed a coat, her keys and headed out, not really knowing where she was going.

She ended up waking along Bethnal Green Road, browsing the various shop windows. Even while shopping, she could not help thinking about the previous night. The first kiss, slightly akward. And then the canoodling on the sofa, getting more and more assured, finally taking James by the hand and moving things to the bedroom. And this morning, waking up with him, nervous and elated at the same time. She wondered if it was worth it, all that nervousness and anxiety for something that could very well amount to nothing. On the other hand, she did owe herself to at least try, not to turn and run as she had done so often before when even the faintest possibility of a relationship came into view. She could not blame her studies, her new job. And James was far from the dubious objects of her past infatuations. He was genuine. Ok, she should brace herself for possible failure and give in to the temptation that was James. She entered a small boutique she had noticed often but never visited before, intent on splurging on a nice piece of clothing that would make her feel confident tomorrow.

The rest of the weekend passed quickly, reviewing court cases and taking her nephews to a see a new animated film. Heading back home for tea on Sunday, Alesha began fretting about what she should wear to James'. Jeans and her new top. Casual but stylish. Yeah, not overdone but still sophisticated. She spent the next two hours in the bathroom, getting ready, putting a lot of efforts to look her most natural.

As she was about to call a cab, with still a few minutes to spare, the phone rang.

"Lesha, it's me. Thanks so much for taking the kids out today. I came home from work and they could not stop talking about the movie."

Alesha sighed as she recognized her sister. Justine would expect her to chat and she would have to explain that she had a date. But she wasn't near ready for that. "You know it's always a pleasure, Joos. It gives you and mom a break, and it allows me to spent time with the boys."

"You could spend tons of time with them if you still lived here, you know."

"Joos! Don't start with that. You know how insane it was when I was still living there. Anyway, I am sorry but I'll have to go. I was just heading out for dinner..."

"Ouhh! A date? Someone I know?"

"Joos! Stop it. I am going to James', you know my old boss? He invited some of us for dinner." Alesha closed her eyes as she lied. Joos would go on and on if she knew Alesha was seeing James. She had been chiding Alesha for years for having a thing for her "uppity boss".

"Got to go! I'll talk to you soon!" Alesha hung up and dialed for a cad, getting increasingly nervous as the moment to see James again approched.

After a 20 minutes ride to Hampstead, Alesha rang James' doorbell. Trying to look composed but having last minute jitters. He had not called to confirm. What if he was not serious about the invitation? What if she seemed too eager? Maybe she should have claimed a prior engagement...

The door opened as Alesha was fervently wishing herself back home. "Lesh. I was afraid you would not come." James was in the doorway, wearing beige slacks and a white shirt. Effortlessly elegant, as usual. Smiling at her, eyes crinkled. All was well.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

After leaving Alesha's flat on Saturday morning, James barely had time to stop for croissants before making it home. He was still drying his hair from the shower when the doorbell rang. The rest of the weekend was a whirlwind: homework, Ethan's friends coming over, shopping, playing football on Hampstead Heath... James was grateful for the busy hours which kept him from thinking too much about Alesha.

He still could not believe he had spent the night with her. After four years of knowing her, three year of being infatuated with her and two years of definitely being in love with her, he had finally gotten to "be" with her. He just hoped he would get the chance to keep on being with her. Not wanting to put pressure on her, he did not call her during the next 36 hours. He gave Ethan his complete attention until it was time to drive him to the train station and say goodbye. He then made a quick visit to the market, went home and settled to cook something that would impress Alesha... if she showed up.

By 7, the risotto was keeping warm on the Aga, the wine was aerating and James was changing for the second time. He had not felt this kind of pressure before a date in a long time. A date with Alesha. After being friends for so long, it was a strangely scary thought. Finally settling on tailored but casual beige slacks and a simple white shirt open at the throat, James went back down to the kitchen. The music he had been listening while cooking was still on, one of his numerous iTunes lists. The one he listened to when he needed to quiet his mind: Martha Wainwright, Leonard Cohen, Emmylou Harris, Katie Moore. He had a feeling that was not really up her alley… Oh well, if they were to get to know each other more intimately, she might as well know all his musical secrets.

The doorbell rang at 7:35. James exhaled slowly before heading to the door, realizing how tense he had been, not really believing that she would come. And then she was there on his porch, wearing jeans and high heel leather boots with her signature colourful trench coat, looking up at him with an uncertain look. She was as nervous as he was.

"Lesh. I was afraid you would not come."

She smiled, relief showing in her face, and followed him inside.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

James closed the door. He turned, looked down to Alesha, and smiled. Nervous, Alesha bent her head and started unbuttoning her coat.

"Let me take that," said James as he helped Alesha get out of her coat.

"Come with me. I am finishing up in the kitchen". James led Alesha inside the house, stopping to drape her coat over a chair in the hall before moving down the steps to the large kitchen that used to house a family of three but now mainly stood empty.

"A glass of whine while I put the finishing touch to our dessert?" James was trying hard to remain calm, acting natural when all he wanted was for Alesha to give him a sign that they were ok. Over the last few hours, trying to guess if she would show up or not, he had half persuaded himself that she would come, only to tell him politely that she just wanted to be friends, that he was too old for her, and that she did not want to get into anything serious with him. He walked to the opened bottle, drew her a glass and brought it back to her. She had not said a word since entering the house.

Alesha was concentrating on keeping it casual. She knew that she would have to say something soon but she kept imagining scenarios in her head. She did not know anything about James' romantic life. She knew he and his wife had divorced the year before she came to work for him. He seemed at peace with the decision, even if she knew he missed is son, who was living with his ex-wife in Edinburgh. Apart from that, she had no idea if he had had girlfriends since. Were there other women in his life? Was he looking for something serious or was he content with casual affairs here and there?

She looked up as James brought her a glass of wine. Just the right temperature, unlike Friday night. The kitchen smelled great, and she could hear the quiet hiss of something being slowly cooked. He was such "an adult", a sophisticated, intelligent professional who was at ease with anyone while she, at 33, still felt like an overgrown teenager. Some days, she had real difficulties believing that was indeed a lawyer, that she was friend was someone like James. Not that he did anything to make her fee that way. It was entirely self-conscious. She looked at him and he smiled. She was making a mountain out of a mole-hill….

James could see Alesha was trying to gage his mood, his intentions. Well, nothing to it then. He took the glass from her hands, putting it on the counter beside her, settling his glass alongside it and bent to kiss her. A light, gentle kiss on the lips. Alesha tilted her face up, giving him better access to her mouth. James deepened the kiss until they both had their arms around each other, getting back to the effortless, exciting times of Friday night. When the kiss broke, James caressed Alesha's back before taking a step back, out of the embrace.

"Don't you hate it? That awkward first-time-together-after-the-deed moment?", asked James ruefully while handing back her glass to Alesha and picking his up again.

She chuckled with him, happy and relieved. Things were back to normal. Almost normal. James as her friend… and something more.

"You go through many of these moments", she asked him teasingly.

"Nah… Way to stressful for a man of my years. You?"

"You were my boss for four years. That puts a cramp in a girl's style"

Ok. There they were. Both single. Both just having admitted that they were available and that they did not make a habit of these situations. Alesha decided to let her guards down, to enjoy that first date she had been thinking about for so long.

"What are you cooking? It smells great!"

James caressed her shoulder has he walked passed her to the stove. "Risotto with escargot and blue cheese, one of my well-tested recipes. It's ready but I need to stir the custard for dessert before we eat."

Alesha followed James to the stove, peering and sniffing at the various pots. "Hmmmm…. You are a man of many talents, James Steele."

James looked at her over his shoulder and smiled has he worked. "I am glad you think so. What do you think if we eat in the living room instead of in the dining room?"

"Perfect. You want me to set something up?" Alesha was eager for this occasion to keep busy, to keep things going smoothly, normally.

"Sure. You could set up the table. Just snoop around the kitchen and bring anything you think we need."

Ten minutes later they were both sitting on the living room floor, across the low table, eating and drinking wine, talking about everything and nothing, laughing. It was as it had been so often before when they shared a drink or a meal after a case. They only difference was the setting, the added air of intimacy between them and this intangible but very real feeling that all of this was leading to something else.

After they finished, Alesha insisted on helping James clean up before they partake in the glass of scotch that James offered. They did so quietly, moving around each other in the kitchen in comfortable silence. The awkwardness of the beginning of the evening was gone, leaving in place an awareness of each other and of things to come.

As they finished, James turned to Alesha. "Let's have that scotch in the upstairs study, shall we? The view at that time of night is great."

Alesha nodded and followed him up the stairs, in this part of the house that she had never visited, that was not often presented to visitors. His inner sanctum.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The study lied on the third floor of the house, right by the master bedroom. Windows occupied most of one wall, facing Hampstead Heath, and further away, all of London. A cluttered work table, bookcases filled to the brim, colourful framed pictures from far away trips on the wall, an old tan leather sofa facing the windows, a modern arc floor lamp softly illuminating the room. This is James, thought Alesha as she followed him to the sofa. It is where he really lives, thinks, reads.

She sat as he went to a small cabinet, fetched two glasses and drew them both a small measure of scotch. James came back to her, sat beside her, and offered her the amber coloured drink. Alesha smiled her thanks and looked around the room, taking in all sorts of details that added to her perceptions of James. She noticed the same music from downstairs playing in the background. He saw her noticing.

"I've installed a central sound system throughout the house a few years ago."

"Did you make many other changes since the divorce?"

"Hmm… A few. Nothing drastic, mind you. Just little things here and there that used to get on my nerve. It's funny because the most dramatic change, the whole _feel_ of the house, came by itself as time went by, without me doing anything much."

"I imagine that after a while, it became _your_ house. You know?"

"That's it", James said. "After a while, it was a different house. More comfortable, somehow, especially this floor. It's just that it is so large, now that I live alone most of the time."

"I always liked your house. To me, it is the representation of what I would imagine as a perfect home when I was a kid. The large rooms. The living room with the cream sofas and the fireplace. The modernized ground floor kitchen… But this room, it's even better. It is very comfy, very you." Alesha smiled as she looked at James, angled toward him, her feet tucked beneath her on the couch. She ran her hand on the leather, soft with age and usage.

James took a sip of his drink as he looked at her. Noting once again how expressive her face was, how natural it felt to be with her.

"That is what I am to you, then? A comfortable old friend?"

He smiled as he said it. Except from small touches in passing, they'd had no real physical contact since the kiss at the beginning of the evening. James longed to touch Alesha, to take her into his arms, to keep her close as they talked, to take her to his bed, in the room just across the hall…

"Not exactly." Alesha felt her cheeks redden as she answered. "A friend, yes. With whom I am comfortable most of the time."

"Except?"

"Except when I am not".

Alesha laughed nervously. James was looking at her calmly, a slight smile on his face and a light in his eyes. He is waiting for me to take it further, Alesha thought. He took me to this place, this intimate part of his life where he did not put things in order before I arrived, he showed me who he is when at home, and now he is waiting for me to decide if we stop this before it irrevocably alter our friendship. Alesha took a deep, silent breath, looking directly at James.

"Except when I try too hard to know what you think. When I really want to kiss you but am afraid to make the first move. When I think that I like you as so much more than a friend."

James felt the tension between them alter. It lessened as he now knew that she was interested as well, but it grew all the same, as if to underline that this moment was the beginning of something. James growned internally. That is what Alesha reduced him to: a lovesick boy in a 50 year old man's body.

They now both had finished their drinks and had set their glasses on the floor by the sofa.

"Lesh…" James moved closer to Alesha, lifting his hand to touch her face, her hair, drawing her to him for their second kiss of the night. More assured this time. Not a first kiss but a kiss between two people who are definitely into on another, who want to explore further.

When Alesha slowly drew back, James took her into his arms. He settled against the back of the sofa, drawing lazy circles on her back.

"I've looked at you as more than a friend for a while now. You cannot imagine the number of times I wanted to invite you up here when we worked on cases downstairs. Most of our colleagues at court are persuaded that you've already been up here a number of times. But I was not so sure you were interested."

Alesha looked up at him. "In sleeping with you?"

James shook his head slightly. "In getting to know me outside work. In being part of each other's life even when there is no one from work around."

"Is that why you invited me skating with you and Ethan? But you never did it again."

"I was your boss. I did not want you to see me as an older man preying on his younger, beautiful assistant. I felt like a cliché."

"You know that skating rink date made me lose many nights of sleep, don't you? I would play it again and again in my head, trying to see it from your point of view. Just a friendly outing or a trial run date that I had failed miserably?"

Alesha felt James chest rumble against her cheek as he laughed. "Alesha. It is after that day that I started to think about quitting, so that I could explore this with you. The blame in the final case was just the last incentive to do so. I was looking forward to getting away from the court, yes, but I also really wanted to be able to see you without the whole boss-employee dynamic between us. So believe me when I say that I am always happy for you to make a move on me."

Alesha turned over in James' arms, straddling him. She kissed him, burying one hand in his hair and pressing herself closer to him. James tightened his hold on her. His hands on her back migrated to her lower back, and then to her ass. Alesha deepened the kiss, rocking slighty against James, feeling his erection through her jeans. She got up. James stayed seated on the couch, looking up at her, desire evident in his eyes.

"James."

"Lesh."

"You could show me your bedroom now, if you want to."

James got up, took her hand is his and led her from the room. "I'd love to."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9

The study lied on the third floor of the house, right by the master bedroom. Windows occupied most of one wall, facing Hampstead Heath, and further away, all of London. A cluttered work table, bookcases filled to the brim, colourful framed pictures from far away trips on the wall, an old tan leather sofa facing the windows, a modern arc floor lamp softly illuminating the room. This is James, thought Alesha as she followed him to the sofa. It is where he really lives, thinks, reads.

She sat as he went to a small cabinet, fetched two glasses and drew them both a small measure of scotch. James came back to her, sat beside her, and offered her the amber coloured drink. Alesha smiled her thanks and looked around the room, taking in all sorts of details that added to her perceptions of James. She noticed the same music from downstairs playing in the background. He saw her noticing.

"I've installed a central sound system throughout the house a few years ago."

"Did you make many other changes since the divorce?"

"Hmm… A few. Nothing drastic, mind you. Just little things here and there that used to get on my nerve. It's funny because the most dramatic change, the whole _feel_ of the house, came by itself as time went by, without me doing anything much."

"I imagine that after a while, it became _your_ house. You know?"

"That's it", James said. "After a while, it was a different house. More comfortable, somehow, especially this floor. It's just that it is so large, now that I live alone most of the time."

"I always liked your house. To me, it is the representation of what I would imagine as a perfect home when I was a kid. The large rooms. The living room with the cream sofas and the fireplace. The modernized ground floor kitchen… But this room, it's even better. It is very comfy, very you." Alesha smiled as she looked at James, angled toward him, her feet tucked beneath her on the couch. She ran her hand on the leather, soft with age and usage.

James took a sip of his drink as he looked at her. Noting once again how expressive her face was, how natural it felt to be with her.

"That is what I am to you, then? A comfortable old friend?"

He smiled as he said it. Except from small touches in passing, they'd had no real physical contact since the kiss at the beginning of the evening. James longed to touch Alesha, to take her into his arms, to keep her close as they talked, to take her to his bed, in the room just across the hall…

"Not exactly." Alesha felt her cheeks redden as she answered. "A friend, yes. With whom I am comfortable most of the time."

"Except?"

"Except when I am not".

Alesha laughed nervously. James was looking at her calmly, a slight smile on his face and a light in his eyes. He is waiting for me to take it further, Alesha thought. He took me to this place, this intimate part of his life where he did not put things in order before I arrived, he showed me who he is when at home, and now he is waiting for me to decide if we stop this before it irrevocably alter our friendship. Alesha took a deep, silent breath, looking directly at James.

"Except when I try too hard to know what you think. When I really want to kiss you but am afraid to make the first move. When I think that I like you as so much more than a friend."

James felt the tension between them alter. It lessened as he now knew that she was interested as well, but it grew all the same, as if to underline that this moment was the beginning of something. James growned internally. That is what Alesha reduced him to: a lovesick boy in a 50 year old man's body.

They now both had finished their drinks and had set their glasses on the floor by the sofa.

"Lesh…" James moved closer to Alesha, lifting his hand to touch her face, her hair, drawing her to him for their second kiss of the night. More assured this time. Not a first kiss but a kiss between two people who are definitely into on another, who want to explore further.

When Alesha slowly drew back, James took her into his arms. He settled against the back of the sofa, drawing lazy circles on her back.

"I've looked at you as more than a friend for a while now. You cannot imagine the number of times I wanted to invite you up here when we worked on cases downstairs. Most of our colleagues at court are persuaded that you've already been up here a number of times. But I was not so sure you were interested."

Alesha looked up at him. "In sleeping with you?"

James shook his head slightly. "In getting to know me outside work. In being part of each other's life even when there is no one from work around."

"Is that why you invited me skating with you and Ethan? But you never did it again."

"I was your boss. I did not want you to see me as an older man preying on his younger, beautiful assistant. I felt like a cliché."

"You know that skating rink date made me lose many nights of sleep, don't you? I would play it again and again in my head, trying to see it from your point of view. Just a friendly outing or a trial run date that I had failed miserably?"

Alesha felt James chest rumble against her cheek as he laughed. "Alesha. It is after that day that I started to think about quitting, so that I could explore this with you. The blame in the final case was just the last incentive to do so. I was looking forward to getting away from the court, yes, but I also really wanted to be able to see you without the whole boss-employee dynamic between us. So believe me when I say that I am always happy for you to make a move on me."

Alesha turned over in James' arms, straddling him. She kissed him, burying one hand in his hair and pressing herself closer to him. James tightened his hold on her. His hands on her back migrated to her lower back, and then to her ass. Alesha deepened the kiss, rocking slighty against James, feeling his erection through her jeans. She got up. James stayed seated on the couch, looking up at her, desire evident in his eyes.

"James."

"Lesh."

"You could show me your bedroom now, if you want to."

James got up, took her hand is his and led her from the room. "I'd love to."


End file.
